Saturday, September 6, 2008

Deal breakers: Flip Flops

Feet are really yucky. I might be kind of jaded because I have really fucked up ballet feet but I don't care how many French pedicures you get, shit just looks like talons dipped in white-out. Feet are not "dainty" or "cute." Naturally, dude feet are imminently worse because I'm sexist.

A couple nights ago I saw a dude at the Saloon that was like, stupid hot. As in, so hot it's stupid. However, he was shuffling around in flip-flops. Goddammit. If he had taken 2 more seconds to put real people shoes on my panties probably would have disintegrated on the spot.

I bet these dudes don't wear flip flops:



The first time I heard Pissed Jeans I was sitting on the floor of some dude's apartment in his "record den." I didn't really care a lot, I just wanted to make sure my hair was still flat. Now I am seriously amused by them, anyone who is a claims adjuster or accountant by day and writes songs about diarrhea by night is cool in my book.

'stina

15 comments:

megan elizabeth said...

Those dudes were definitely rocking out in my tummy after filibertos the other night.

Anonymous said...

Well, here's a band who is good! I like them very much. Have you heard Clockcleaner? They're also from Philly, and sound similarly, but are more GG Allin, more racist and misogynistic, slower, heavier, more Butthole Surfers. They're one of my favorite bands out right now. They also could totally beat up Bloc Party.

Dr. Bubastis said...

I'm not going to front or anything, i'll wear sandals if i'm like going to the store to buy some milk or guitar center to show everyone how hard I can shred Master of Puppets or maybe even to a class if there isn't anyone worth impressing with my footwear in the class, but to a bar? Fuck.

'stina said...

@megan elizabeth

That's cool, I know something else was rockin' out in your tummy tonight...

@Darling Anonymous Reader

GG Allin makes people throw chairs.

@ Dr. Bubastis

I was hoping you were going to say you wear flip flops to guitar center to make it clear to ladies that they are procuring equipment for listening reasons only. I'd go so far as to say your use of flip flops is overkill. I guess at least you're not wearing socks with velcro teva sandals. Ughhhh.

Anonymous said...

I fail to see anything wrong with throwing chairs.

Interesting fact about me: I don't even own a pair of flip flops or sandals. Or shorts, even. I think that shit's for gay dudes!

'stina said...

@ Darling Anonymous Reader

How can you live in San Diego county and not own at least one pair of cargo shorts? Much less the pants that zip off into cargo shorts? BLASPHEMY!

Anonymous said...

I'd rather die.

'stina said...

@ Darling Anonymous Reader

Not even shants? You know, like cut offs that are neither shorts nor pants?

Anonymous said...

Jesus no.

'stina said...

@ Darling Anonymous Reader

You're seriously going to try to tell me you don't ever get the urge to have some of your favorite gray skinny jeans tailored into ironic skinny shorts and ride your bike to a really hip coffee shop?

Dr. Bubastis said...

I just wear basketball shorts everywhere I go.

burnedbeyondrecognition said...

I've never had that urge. Sometimes I've wanted to run my car over a hipster on a bike, though. Shorts are for little boys. Men wear pants.

burnedbeyondrecognition said...

bahaha, no longer anonymous.

jenni said...

why would you ever want to show off the hairy little fingers that you walk on? it's like cutting holes in your shirts so people can see your hairy nipples. or wearing pants with mesh in the back where your ass crack is. or having an opening in your pants for your balls. NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THAT SHIT.

'stina said...

@ Dr. Bubastis

I hope they are camo print and I also hope you wear them with sockless New Balances.

@ burnedbeyondrecognition

You were never really anonymous to us, baby. Or, chief, should I say...

@ Jenni

I think you should wear mesh ass-crack pants to Dirty Monday tomrrow.