If video killed the radio star, who killed the video star?

THE BUTLER?! It's usually the butler.

Regardless of your answer to my rhetorical question, I have a lot to complain about today.

Snack vultures at Costco are at the top of my list. If you block an entire aisle to muscle your way in for half a hot dog, I will probably...mutter obscenities under my breath. When I say "under my breath" I mean I am half-deaf so you can probably hear me. I am not going to fight you for that sliver of ravioli. I just want some pesto, man.

Next on the agenda, Megan, dude, you have GOT to get a second job. Chili's clearly isn't cutting it. You are posting so much it makes me look bad.

Aaaaaanyways.

Since Alison Bailes over there decided to get all Film 101 on Vampire Weekend, I am going to talk about some of my favorite music videos.


My ultimate all-time favorite director is Mark Romanek. There is an aesthetic quality to his videos that have become kind of signature, at least in my mind.

A lot of you are probably familiar with this video and think it's kinda creepy, maybe a little dirty. I do too. Videos that make you feel weird (like a pedophile in this case) accomplish something- a connection between the artist and the viewer. I also feel like bitch needs a Xanax and a pastrami sammitch. I present you with Fiona Apple's "Criminal."



I remember when Nine Inch Nails' "Closer" video came out I would secretly turn on my TV after midnight in hopes of catching it on MTV. This video weirded me out really hard. It might have been the meat wings, might have been the naked chick with the crucifix mask, might have been my pre-pubescent girl-boner for Trent Reznor hanging from the ceiling. Even if you don't like the 'nails, this video is worth watching because it's a work of art on its own.



Another NIN video, "The Perfect Drug." More gorgeous imagery! The color saturation is great and the Edward Gorey theme is kind of fun. Oh, and Count Trentula's Weimaraner is ADORBS.



Madonna's "Rain" was shot entirely in black and white and later hand-colored. Holy shit. That's a lot of coloring. IS PRETTY.



My last Romanek Video is going to be Weezer's "El Scorcho." This video draws from the band's quirkiness and is a little more fun that some of it's predecessors. It is still well-shot but the story progression is a little more funky. Why isn't Rivers wearing his glasses though? Y U doin' this to me, bb? YOU KNOW DUDES IN GLASSES MAKE ME RANDY!!!



Chris Cunningham is another director I like, he is a pretty weird guy and his videos show that. My first one from him is Aphex Twins' "Windowlicker." The digital effects are kinda nuts. It's a parody of gangster rap videos and the version I am posting is edited to the music, the original video has three something minutes of obscenities.



Next is Bjork's "All is Full of Love." This video came out in '99 so it was pretty cutting edge back then. Also, the Bjorkbots were non-working!



The last Cunningham video I am posting is Madonna's "Frozen." She was going through that weird ethnic/religious crisis thing but about 50 seconds in she falls back and explodes into crows. That's pretty freaking cool. I want to explode into crows!



The final director I am going to note today is Michel Gondry. He made some White Stripes and Bjork videos and whatnot and I like them. According to the internets, Gondry pioneered the "bullet time" (computer-enhanced time-lapse) technique later adapted in "The Matrix."

Devendra Banhart's "A Ribbon":




Bjork's "Hyperballad":



Obviously I am exhausted and have run out of adjectives for videos. Just you wait, it's not over yet!

'stina


p.s. I definitely got rickrolled looking for that Perfect Drug video. Ughhh.

where are we moving to? BERLIN!!!!

This morning I'm really digging on this new video by Stars for "Bitches in Tokyo", directed by Experimental Parachute Movement (Kevin Drew and George Vale). Enjoy:



I like anything that encourages me not to wash my hair. Fuck shampoo man. I gotta get me a wig. Also in my bag of tricks today, New Zealand's own Flight of the Conchords, now with some sweet staches, doing a little something special for all the ladies of the world.



Wow, that is some fancy skating. Damn, that is quite a stache on Jemaine. Either something is quivering in my feminine core or I left my cell phone on vibrate.

Moving along, I don't know if we're not talking about Vampire Weekend now that they've been on tv and nobody likes tv, but I'm going to go out on a limb and admit that I like this video for "Oxford Comma" directed by somebody called Richard Ayodade but it looks like some Wes Anderson shit to me:



Something about the lead singer of this band really bothers me. I know it's in his face but I can't place it. He kind of looks like somebody I can't put my finger on who I don't like for some reason I can't remember and it infuriates me. I like that in this video I can't see his face very well most of the time so I'm not distracted by wondering why I don't like him. Seriously, what did that guy do? He has this douche-in-philosophy-class vibe but he could be somebody's lame ex-boyfriend. Maybe he's just a shitty tipper or a guy who stands too close to you on the bus. Maybe he's in a valtrex commercial. Maybe he's the first ponygirl poll: Why do I hate this guy?