hump day shortlist: I am kind of light-headed right now

Okay so, on Friday I have to get surgery or whatever so they needed me to go in today to take a pregnancy test. They might as well give my neutered male cat a pregnancy test but that's neither here nor there. The point is, they did not tell me they were also going to take a bunch of my blood. That's just rude. AND they failed to address me properly. Fucking outrageous.

I had a really good shortlist post mapped out in my head. I was going to start rambling about metaphors and bullshit and quote Jorge Luis Borges but I am kind of light headed right now so bear with me as I delve into some music for Southern California's least favorite and most metaphorical season: Winter.



I know I posted about this song by The Silent Years before, but dang it's good. DANG.

Next on my shortlist is Au Revoir Simone. From what I understand, they are a set of magical triplets who play their keyboards in the forest, spending their days in picking berries and singing perfect, sugar-spun harmonies.



I love this song "Fallen Snow" but it makes me want to sit them down and give them some solid relationship advice. Not that anyone should listen to me. I'm a (metaphorical) virgin who can't drive (that was way harsh).



Hey, while I was watching the above video for the Dodos' "Winter" I remembered that thing that Borges said. It's in the Paris Review Interview book and it's something about how the oldest metaphors are still the best, the richest, the truest. I don't really know where I was going with that but it's food for thought as the sun sets on us earlier and earlier and our neighbors set up inflatable snowmen on their evergreen lawns.

back to the 18th century
megan elizabeth

hump day shortlist: got my stunna shades on

Last night when I saw that Stina wasn't going to post a clean-up, I momentarily considered writing my own Clean Up On Aisle Tuesday: the Madonna Edition. Luckily for that dried up old hoe (Madonna, not Stina) I was way too busy being proud of my country to muster up the muster to really hate anything (until I heard prop 8 passed. Sanctity of marriage my dick).

So on to the Shortlist. I just had a couple moles removed and my left hand is still numb so I don't feel much like typing right now, but let me just say one thing: there are few things that these ponies love more than celebrating their joy with some hyphy.







Now if you'll excuse me, I just remembered something about some maneuver known as "the stranger" that I might attempt while my hand lacks feeling. Got to do some more research.

fo sho
megan elizabeth

Hump Day Short List: How Presumptuously Un-sexy

Last night I hit up this new sushi place with my buddy and it was pretty decent. That little place in the Ultra Star shopping center. When I say decent I mean the owner dumped sake down our throats and it was fucking sweet. The only thing amiss was the music,these guys had that Craig David CD from a couple years ago on repeat before launching into the Katamari Damacy soundtrack/Japanese techno pop.

What the fuck happened to Craig David, British R&B boy wonder of the 2000's? He had that one song, "Seven Days:"

(fast forward through a minute of bullshit)



and then that one other song, "Fill Me In" (alternately titled "That's What She Said"):

(fast forward 35 seconds of bullshit)



This guy is talking about red wine in a jacuzzi and is wearing a turtleneck, I feel like I should be all like "yeeeaaaaaah!" but all I can think about is a 32 of Arrogant Bastard at the lagoon with a dude wearing a dirty band shirt. Maybe my idea of sexy is wrong, but I think some of history's best-known songs about getting sexy or designed for getting sexy are laughable at best.

Rod Stewart's "Do You Think I'm Sexy:"



Dude, are you kidding? This is what the song translates to in the modern world: "So, I live with my mom or whatever it's not a big deal can I borrow your phone to call her so she doesn't set the alarm in case I don't crash at your place? Cool. Can you get me a Jack and Coke while I call her? Oh yeah, I'm out of cash I'll make it up to you later, wink wink." Fuck you for creating an army of douche nozzles, Rod Stewart.

Lastly, The most unsexy sexy time song ever, Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On:"



You know what's really sexy? South Park's pan flute cover of Gary Numan's "Cars." Yeeeeeah.

'stina

hump day shortlist

Oh sweet baby Jesus, why is it Wednesday? If you're like me, you need a little boost to help you over the hump. Now that Project Runway is over and the presidential race has become my new reality tv addiction, I think it's high time I introduce a new ponygirl weekly feature: hump day shortlist, in which I throw together a few romantic tunes to help get you over that hump and hopefully aid you in putting your tongue in some lady's mouth.

Today I'm feeling a kind of Phil Spector inspired sixties vibe, and after all, nothing is more romantic than Mr. Spector. He will kill a bitch and call it an "accidental suicide". Oh dang, good thing I'm writing this on my fainting couch.

First up, I have Grizzly Bear, live, covering "He Hit Me", originally recorded by The Crystals and produced by Phil Spector. Thanks for the video rawkblog! You can also download this song on daytrotter.



If you can think of anything more romantic than this song, congratulations, you probably know what a healthy relationship is like. In that case, I don't know what you're doing here.

Hey, remember Bat For Lashes? I still love the shit out of this song and video, "What's a Girl To Do?"



If you fuck with Natasha Khan her bicycle gang of furries will not hesitate to annihilate you. They will synchronized-jump you into the ground.

Rounding out the shortlist, the Jesus and Mary Chain video for "Just Like Honey".



I....
I have nothing snarky to say about this. Not even about the hair. Just leave me alone.
GET OUT OF MY ROOM.

just like honey (honey's dead)
megan elizabeth