Thursday, December 25, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Zooey Deschanel took number one, thank you Satan, she actually has a beautiful voice and is legitimately hot. I'll be a little too honest right now, the first time I heard She & Him's "You Really Got a Hold on Me" nearly made my eyes sprinkle and it has definitely found its way onto my romantic weekend playlist, so Deschanel is totes deserving of numero uno in my mind.
However, Lewis kept second this year and I am FURIOUS. To add insult to injury, I was already mad that Captain Ginger Wonkeye (Thom Yorke), the guy that looks like he is 12 from that boat shoe band (Vampire Weekend), Skeletor from Deerhunter (Bradford Cox) and Ryan Adams and his heroin problem beat out Spencer Krug on the dude's list so a big thanks to the parade of idiot voters for rubbing some Rilo Kiley salt (the ouchiest kind) in that wound.
"I keep on talkin' trash but I never say anything
And the talkin' leads to touchin'
and the touchin' leads to sex
and then there is no mystery left."
To me, being an Indie Rock Hottie means having a relatively impressive body of work AS WELL as having a relatively impressive body. At the end of the day, Lewis is generic, bland and overrated.
who is a total fucking badass (bitch she play autoharp like us) and is much more deserving of a spot on the list, but also featured Joanna Newsom:
who can take her Christian Louboutins and hippie bullshit and kiss my black ass. You win some, you lose some. This shit is either way rigged, or people are just incomprehensibly fucking stupid. I mean, come on, Sigur Ros got 8th in Best Live Act, which tells me the Stereogum voting crowd is into mediocrity and napping. Moral of the story is, watch your votes because you might piss me off.
Still a hair away from corybantic about us not even getting an honorable mention for best music blog,
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
I was having a hard time thinking about what I hate this week (completely out of character, I know) but Jezebel did it for me. Unfortunately, Roadrunner Records fucked up really hard and it unfortunately reminded me of how much I don't like Amanda Palmer/The Dresden Dolls. Palmer made a video for a song off her solo album called "Leeds United:"
And what did Roadrunner do? They told her to cut a few shots from the video 'cause you could see her stomach and shit. Well you know what Roadrunner? Tell Slipknot to go on a diet too. Or at least tell them to stop sucking so much ass.
As much as that's a bummer, I still don't like Amanda Palmer.
1.) I don't care for her lyrics :
"you can tell
from the glass on the floor
and the strings that're breaking
and i keep on breaking more
and it looks like i am shaking
but it's just the temperature
and then again
if it were any colder i could disengage
if i were any older i could act my age
but i don't think that you'd believe me
it's just the way the operation made me"
2.) I don't care for the weird gothy carnie schtick:
3.) Her eyebrows freak me out:
I have a lot of friends that really love the Dresden Dolls and I just don't get it. Her voice is sounding more and more gravely as of late, kind of like she's been sucking a sandpapered dick for the last couple of years, and the "angry girl with a piano" thing is getting really old. Especially because Palmer blogged about being embarrassed to admit to liking Tori Amos, the original weird angry girl with a piano. Get with the program, dude.
See you on A&E's "Intervention" soon,
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
It's good to be back and I've got a real nice treat for y'all, a Horse Feathers video!
"Curs In The Weeds"
Why yes, that was Joe Haege from 31 Knots.
Unfortunately, it's a long, hard slog to the end of fall quarter and I must get back to the 18th century.
p.s. bonus related video
Tried to get Dirty last night, failed, for the first time ever. I hate waiting in line and I especially hate waiting for in line to get my overpriced drink jostled by some asshole that is going to ask if they can try on my glasses. After an hour, I'd rather not go in at all. Don't get me wrong, I'm not above waiting in line, but like Kim from the Real Housewives of Atlanta says, "I'm too old to do shit I don't wanna do."
Good news is, Thee More Shallows put some new songs up. The real kicker? They're good.
What else is going on this weekend?
Deerhunter is playing at Le Chateau Casbah on Friday, Lanterns are playing at The Che Cafe Saturday, some other stuff I am too lazy to look up.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Official Pony Girl Club tip: If you're gonna drink in public, like oh say the beach, or a certain lagoon, wear flats. It's not fun hiking a round trip of five miles on some janky-ass nature trail in the tail end of the witching hours sporting three-inch wedges just because you don't really feel like getting arrested. Plus, clomping around like a goddamn Budweiser Clydesdale doesn't increase stealth points.
All this talk of delinquency got me thinking about one of the bands that I really loved while in engaging in most of my teenage delinquency, The Murder City Devils. While I blame Kathleen Hanna for my shitty 'tude, MCD are probably the reason I am teetering on the edge of having a drinking problem and am utterly irresponsible on a daily basis. Rock 'n' roll, man.
I don't remember how I heard about them, but I know I still have all 4 shirts and I really wanted to see them before they broke up when they were touring with At the Drive-In but my friend that was supposed to drive's appendix burst or some lame-ass pussy excuse like that. Fucking bummer. I don't collect records but the ones that I own are prized possessions that are all gifts and one of them is a red and black swirl limited pressing of R.I.P., the recording of their last show in Seattle on October 31st, 2001.
This here video is the only official one, for one of my all-time favorite songs, "Idle Hands:"
This isn't actually a video so much as it is a picture of the album cover, "Rum to Whiskey:"
Fan vids are terrible but at least you can listen to the song and keep reading, "Press Gang:"
Recovering from being really punk (doing shit like wearing cut up Casualties t-shirts to ballet and listening to the worst shit imagineable) and easing back into being a functional member of society was a little rough, but these guys were there to pad my fall. They aren't the inventors of anything, but had elements from a lot of bands that I already liked blended into fun, catchy and a little bit creepy rock.
So now what? VH1's million dollar question, where are they now?
The good news is, guitarist and token guy that is so hot it's stupid Dann Gallucci (formerly of Modest Mouse fame) still has a really bad case of the hot. Be still, my 15-year-old heart. Singer Spencer Moody still probably has at least a little bit of a drinking problem and is still making music. Other than that, according to the internets, Moody busies himself running a "junk shop" named after a pirate and a practice space. Bad news is, he has a beard now. Leslie Hardy, keyboardist and former Hole member (for about five minutes) has been pretty much M.I.A. since her carpal tunnel surgery but I heard she might be a realtor now. Who knows? Bassist Derek Fudesco moved on to Pretty Girls Make Graves and the less hot guitarist Nate Manny is a graphic designer now. Adorable drummer Coady Willis is in Big Business and...apparently The Melvins? Weird. Gabe the roadie and the merchbot seemed to have nothing listed for curent projects, which just makes me think at least Gabe is hiding out in the woods hunting bear with his pet wolf.
Can't wait to hide out in the woods and hunt bear with my pet wolf,
Friday, November 21, 2008
Cortini is not just Trent Reznor's go to synth/sound manipulation guy and Ladytron remixer extraordinaire, he's half of Modwheelmood, a Los Angeles-based electronic duo. I got really into these dudes in my first round of MIDI classes because I figured there had to be something that is MIDI-heavy and isn't Massive Attack or underground hip hop. Modwheelmood blends actual, for-realsies instruments with all the programmed insanity well enough to create a distinctive crunchy indie pop rock sound. They are somewhat Postal Service-y in nature but more technically advanced and less...wussy.
The featured Italian love tank has a unique voice and when I say unique I don't mean it in the way that people say Joanna Newsom's is. I mean it's high-pitched and a little ethereally whispery at times but not obnoxious. One of the biggest highlights in their work, for me is Cortini's somewhat innovative approach to sound manipulation.
This is a video of Cortini using a Lemur control surface with a Monome on a piano. OMG can you say "spank bank?":
Also, a video of Cortini with his Buchla 200e modular synth:
All of Modwheelmood's material is released digitally, available through iTunes or Amazon and a couple songs are up on their myspace. "Sunday Morning" and "MHz" are both good ones but some of my favorites are actually remixes off the "Things Will Change" charity remix album, like Home Video remix of "Going Nowhere" and the Kangding Ray remix of "Things Will Change." One of my other favorites, "Problem Me" is featured in this here youtube video of a dot that doesn't move:
Happy trails my friends, happy trails,
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
We've both been having our respective issues, like Megan getting a boob job and me not having a day off for 12 days straight trying to hustle my way into a promotion like some sort of frazzled hungover face-painting superbot. The only thing that has kept me going is Megan telling me to ask myself what Dwight Schrute would do.
That should give you guys an idea of how my interview with the district manager went.
All this talk of being a straight Schruter really got me thinking, I should be more intense about my life. I already listen to the blackest of metals, the indiest of rocks and the dumbest of hyphy but what about all the little shit I look the other way about? Like this guy:
Ordinarily, I would say something snappy like "I would hatefuck that guy so hard he wouldn't even know the Slurricaine tore through that shit" and maybe make a joke about waiting until he passes out to steal his black AMEX and Audi keys but no longer, my friends!
I was seeing this dude for a while before he fucking freaked out because I tried to round first base after the fifth date and he once admitted he has a list of "freeway bands." Those being bands you only listen to on the freeway when you can be absolutely certain no one else can hear you. Who was the first on his freeway list? That guy up there, Chris Carraba, otherwise known as his pathetic musical monniker "Dashboard Confessional." Whats my problem with him? One reason: He's a total pussy. He's a pussy with a speech impediment. The shit this guy writes about is bad, the way he writes about it is worse. Even the crying in the newborn ward is more tolerable than this dude's whining about some girl he is netstalking boning down with another dude. For example:
As for now, I'm gonna hear the saddest songs
and sit alone and wonder how you're making out
but as for me I wish that I was anywhere
with anyone, making out
This guy is clearly a sensitive-ass genius. Maybe he's just a nice guy and like needs a hug or some shit but mostly I want to let him loose in the Pennsylvania woods and let a bear swat at his vocal cords.
Fact: He used to be the singer of a Christian band, Further Seems Forever.
Fact: I am Christian music's biggest enemy.
Fact: Carrabba was in New Fond Glory for five minutes while the original ham hands toured with Shai Hulud.
Fact: I saw Shai Hulud once. It's embarrassing that I saw a hardcore punk prog metal band named after the fucking sand worms in Dune, yeah, but I was very young and I've also talked about stomping around my house listening to old Saetia 7". I'm 10 kinds of fucked here.
In hate we trust,
Thursday, November 13, 2008
So it's been a rather interesting time in the world of Bubastis. Election night was quite a roller coaster: I went from being extremely proud on a national level to flat out disgusted on a state level in a matter of hours. I won't bore anyone with any long rant about the evils of Prop 8...suffice it to say that we fucked up but it's ok because it's going to happen sooner or later. Get used to it, Mormons!
But let's get one thing straight: Doctor Bubastis loves the 'tang. I just hate to see something like this proposed and passed on such a religious level in a “progressive” state like California. I also hate arguments like “it has nothing to do with bigotry!” Bitch please. You're flipping out about gay marriage POSSIBLY being taught in school. Nothing says tolerance like “I just don't want my kids to be taught that this lifestyle is acceptable.” I also dislike the insinuation amidst all of this that a child being raised by a gay couple is somehow dysfunctional or not-as-good. Listen, these people have to work to get their kids. Just because you got knocked up in the back of your boyfriends I-Roc drunk as shit off of boxed wine with a mix tape consisting solely of “Pour Some Sugar On Me” playing on the tape deck doesn't make you a good parent.
Nate Silver, who I was previously familiar with through his terrific work with the holy grail of Baseball nerddom, Baseball Prospecticus, runs a highly accredited polling website called fivethirtyeight.com. He recently did a piece about Prop 8, saying that statistically speaking if no one over the age of 60 voted on the measure, it wouldn't have passed. Interesting. Listen, i'm glad we still have the old folks who think it's ok to call black people “colored” puttering around, and i'm not exactly insisting that they just die already, but apparently we have to add “voting” to the long list of things that they shouldn't be allowed to do, along with driving and going to the movies (have you ever been to a theater full of old people? They talk louder and more frequently than the most annoying of teenage girls.)
Anyway, enough of this shit. Check this. The other day I was invited by a friend of mine to go see The Faint. THE FAINT! Seriously? Who would do that to themselves? Do I look like a 14 year old girl? I actually saw the Faint once, like 4 or 5 years ago. But I was only there because for some unholy reason Les Savy Fav opened for them. Ugh. I still haven't washed all the gay off. Not only did I have to deal with the entire white belt army, but they were all....dancing. Like jackasses, obviously. Speaking of Les Savy Fav, this video for their song “What Would Wolves Do?” is really cool. There's just something I like about a wolf and bear astronaut duo partying pretty hard with a bunch of robot fish harpies.
Oh and I almost got in a fight the other night at Churchill's. Like, an honest-to-god fistfight. Fisticuffs and all. All because I told some dude that I didn't like Rage Against The Machine and thought all of their political stuff was weak ass marketing/pandering. Funny, so many people loved the band so much and bought all the fucking Che shirts, but did they give a shit about Zach de la Rocha after he left the band? Didn't think so. If I wanted to listen to Rage Against the Machine I would just listen to Relationship of Command and swap the asinine, cliché political jargon for cryptic, none-of-this-shit-makes-any-sense political jargon. Apparently Rage fans are just as delusional as Tool fans. Makes sense, considering they're probably the same people. Don't even get me started on how hard P.O.D. Rules!
Onto “Music That Doesn't Suck” news, I missed Ghastly City Sleep in L.A. Last weekend. Not that I didn't want to go and support them, considering just getting the tour off the ground was a huge undertaking, but I didn't have the money myself. Being a cartoonish, Vaudevillian villain doesn't pay as well as you may think.
And as the year winds down you eventually start to think about your favorite whatevers of the year. Albums, movies, whatever. And I hate to be the guy who says this, because I usually hate this guy, but there just hasn't been a whole lot of music in 2008 that got me really psyched. Any suggestions?
Oh and i'm looking for someone to go see Synecdoche, New York with me in Hillcrest sometime soon. No one I know wants to go see a long ass, probably boring but ultimately great Charlie Kaufman movie.
P.S. After all this time I think I've come to a shocking conclusion: I think my favorite Built to Spill record is in fact Keep It Like A Secret. Not Perfect From Now On. Fuck off, people who think Perfect is better.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
I had a really good shortlist post mapped out in my head. I was going to start rambling about metaphors and bullshit and quote Jorge Luis Borges but I am kind of light headed right now so bear with me as I delve into some music for Southern California's least favorite and most metaphorical season: Winter.
I know I posted about this song by The Silent Years before, but dang it's good. DANG.
Next on my shortlist is Au Revoir Simone. From what I understand, they are a set of magical triplets who play their keyboards in the forest, spending their days in picking berries and singing perfect, sugar-spun harmonies.
I love this song "Fallen Snow" but it makes me want to sit them down and give them some solid relationship advice. Not that anyone should listen to me. I'm a (metaphorical) virgin who can't drive (that was way harsh).
Hey, while I was watching the above video for the Dodos' "Winter" I remembered that thing that Borges said. It's in the Paris Review Interview book and it's something about how the oldest metaphors are still the best, the richest, the truest. I don't really know where I was going with that but it's food for thought as the sun sets on us earlier and earlier and our neighbors set up inflatable snowmen on their evergreen lawns.
back to the 18th century
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
The reason I am talking about making the video instead of doing it is 1. I have a rager of a headache and have to wake up in the middle of the goddamn night tomorrow (6 a.m.) and 2. I am too pissed about Jason Mraz to do anything besides complain about him on the internet.
I work with a girl that has some shitty Mraz-ak as a ringtone and it makes me want to slam my head in the freezer full of half-finished vanilla frappucinos (going to In-N-Out- for a vanilla shake makes too much fucking sense). I'll be honest, dude's got some pipes. Unfortunately for humanity, he hasn't quietly committed his life to professional musical theatre. He done committed himself to this:
I already didn't like the little mole man for threatening to hug one of my best friends in the entire world with his mind on the internet after a large-scale finance related scuffle but the Mraz is like Sublime: Not just terrible music. Jason Mraz's music embodies everything I hate about dudes in San Diego that aren't bros. It's the Seven jeans and flip flops in winter lifestyle. It's the dumb hat (includes newsboy caps and straw fedoras) in 5,000 degree weather lifestyle. It's the none of this makes any fucking sense yet you're telling me to "relax" and "go with the flow" lifestyle. It's the "if you tell me to just chill out and enjoy the jams one more time I will shove my foot so far up your ass you will shit in the shape of a size 8.5 platform Victorian oxford for a year" lifestyle.
Size 8.5 sounds a lot less intimidating than 10. Maybe I should have fudged my shoe size a little. Welp, that settles it. Off to stretch my feets.
In hate we trust,
Sunday, November 9, 2008
First, Sleater-Kinney's video for "Get Up". Fun fact: directed by Miranda July.
Here they are live, doing one of my favorite songs from Dig Me Out "One More Hour". Fun fact: Corin Tucker is the reason I absolutely HAD to have the black Danelectro with the white swirl.
Here she is talking about being a mama.
Donuts and chocolate milk? ADOPT ME PLEASE.
It was sad when Sleater-Kinney broke up, but time has brought wisdom. I can be content to enjoy what they've done and what they've done for the future of lady-rock.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
This year, however, I decided to suck it up and download the album. Good decision.
I fucking love this song so much. I used to rock this shit on cassette in my '94 Buick Century all the time. It's a surprisingly effective way to not pick up dudes. Man, that car was a sex-mobile.
"Hey little boy, I've got ice cream and video games in my back seat."
Back to the music... I can't really tell you what this song is about besides rad guitars, but the take-away message for me has always been this: waiting for things under the moon is really frustrating and probably a bad idea. To illustrate my point, just listen to this equation Stevens Seagalll axed us ponies to solve last night, beneath what was either a 15/32 moon or a 7/16 moon. We're sitting in the dirt and I'm drinking twist off wine. "Five N over six equals the moon. Solve for moon." Fuck dude, you know women can't do math.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
I wasn't a Xiu Xiu-ite until we went to see them at Le Chateau Casbah, but they are a pretty intriguing bunch. I periodically check the Xiu Xiu site because Jamie Stewart is a fucking weirdo and posts some crazy shit, like weird bondage pictures of Bolivian dudes with their dicks tied together and David Horvitz's suicide announcement. Today, there were no such pleasantries but drummer/percussionist/president of the Bay Area Tall Guys Club Ches Smith released the last part of a found sound manipulation project he's been working on called Y/OUR Town. It's pretty cool, he left a recorder on the merch table at all their shows on the last tour and later made it into...something else. In case you're not familiar with Xiu Xiu, here's a couple videos:
my personal favorite Xiu Xiu Xong, Xad Pony Guerilla Girl (fan video):
I Do What I Want, When I Want:
I am your girl and I will protect you,
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
So on to the Shortlist. I just had a couple moles removed and my left hand is still numb so I don't feel much like typing right now, but let me just say one thing: there are few things that these ponies love more than celebrating their joy with some hyphy.
Now if you'll excuse me, I just remembered something about some maneuver known as "the stranger" that I might attempt while my hand lacks feeling. Got to do some more research.
Dear Michael Crichton,
You picked a terrible day to die. It will eternally be overshadowed by Barack Obama's historic victory. Regardless, thanks for writing Jurassic Park.
Dear Barack Obama,
Don't make me eat my words (vote) on this one, dude. Congratulations though.
You fucked up.
Dear Really Excited Probably Gay Guy and His
You suck. You are seriously one of the most annoying concertgoers I have EVER experienced. Your relentless jumping and fist-waving prevents the rest of us from seeing shit. Emmanuel didn't pay $800 to see you fucking flailing around with your butt buddy. I was so happy when you got kicked out for like a minute, because I could see without distraction, but then you were allowed back and made an even bigger commotion I silently wished the lasers were real and would sweep into your row. I don't care if it took down your
You're a system that doesn't really work all that well, but at least (like the Good Doctor says) you've officially got soul.
Baby, why wasn't you there? So disappointed. I would hit that front, back, side to side. Yeeeah.
Dear Lady in the bathroom that told me I look like Katy Perry,
No, I don't. Yeah, I kissed a girl. It wasn't that great. Rather kiss a dude.
I used to think you were a cold, money mongering robot that had a couple good songs back in the day. Last night, I found out that you are a human. A tiny, muscly human that could probably go to town on some garlic fries, but nonetheless a human. I was surprised at how much you actually sang as well as how steady and clear you were. I guess it makes sense, you are the self-proclaimed Queen of Pop. I'll be honest, when you fucked up the words to "Ray of Light" and attributed it to being "so fucking happy" that Obama won, it warmed my icy heart. Slightly. Thinking you were human made me remember being a wee toddler, wearing a leopard print silk scarf and diaper, dancing around my living room with my mom's microphone to "Lucky Star" while my mom did her Step workout. So I guess, in a way, my parents have you to blame for all this "I'm a jaded musician" bullshit I've put them through. One of my favorite things about you is that your songs don't sound identical to the album, they're unique to the tour, but in a good way. The metal version of "Hung Up?" LOVES IT. Your performance transcends just music, or just dancing. The videos, the sets, the lasers, EVERYTHING. The costumes? Amaaaaazing. They're all Givenchy and I heard you spent over $1 million on swarovski crystals alone. You had these amazing satin boots:
but this was one of my favorite outfits:
Girl, you so FIIIIIERCE!!!I'm sorry that San Diego sucks. Emmanuel told me the floor people get really serious and decked out in couture so I had to be really fierce but it was a bunch of old white people with too much goddamn money. Truth is, I'd rather over-fierce.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Hope y'all voted! But not for McCain!
Monday, November 3, 2008
"They're so funny, it's just like-"
"OHMYGOD she just ripped the heart out of the girl dressed as Todd Palin and said 'that adorable lumberjack didn't see it coming!'"
Megan and I went down to North Park to hang out with The Mistits and catch their show at Bar Pink Elephant. For those of you that made the very poor decision to not join us, you missed the best show of your life and for those of you that are performers, you missed a serious lesson in showmanship. The Mistits are without a doubt, the best live band I have ever seen with the natural exception of Wolf Parade/Sunset Rubdown/any time Spencer Krug is on a stage. I have never in my show-going career witnessed explosive energy like I did on Halloween.
I didn't take that picture because all of mine turned into bullshit thanks to the smoke machine and the Tall Guys Club meeting in front of us, but thanks to whoever did. If you want me to put your actual name, I'll do that too. Back to the show, I don't really remember what they played too well because I am shitty at remembering set lists but I recall enjoying the
When in doubt, rip someone's heart out,
p.s. here is a video of Barack Obama dancing on Ellen:
Friday, October 31, 2008
No, seriously, we love Halloween. This year I'm reprising my "slutty zombie" costume for the "sluttier zombie" version and I've heard talks of red riding hood and vampires circling the rest of the gang.
This is what we're doing:
We're seeing The Mistits, a lady-led comedic Misfits cover band play their LAST SHOW EVER at Bar Pink. 3829 30th Street, North Park San Diego, CA, 92104. They play at 9:45. I keep hearing rumors about a certain president and an even more certain bloodbath. It's gonna be killer. Another bonus is that Paul is going to get really drunk and roll the dice. When I say roll the dice, I mean on how he gets home. OH SNAP!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
What the fuck happened to Craig David, British R&B boy wonder of the 2000's? He had that one song, "Seven Days:"
(fast forward through a minute of bullshit)
and then that one other song, "Fill Me In" (alternately titled "That's What She Said"):
(fast forward 35 seconds of bullshit)
This guy is talking about red wine in a jacuzzi and is wearing a turtleneck, I feel like I should be all like "yeeeaaaaaah!" but all I can think about is a 32 of Arrogant Bastard at the lagoon with a dude wearing a dirty band shirt. Maybe my idea of sexy is wrong, but I think some of history's best-known songs about getting sexy or designed for getting sexy are laughable at best.
Rod Stewart's "Do You Think I'm Sexy:"
Dude, are you kidding? This is what the song translates to in the modern world: "So, I live with my mom or whatever it's not a big deal can I borrow your phone to call her so she doesn't set the alarm in case I don't crash at your place? Cool. Can you get me a Jack and Coke while I call her? Oh yeah, I'm out of cash I'll make it up to you later, wink wink." Fuck you for creating an army of douche nozzles, Rod Stewart.
Lastly, The most unsexy sexy time song ever, Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On:"
You know what's really sexy? South Park's pan flute cover of Gary Numan's "Cars." Yeeeeeah.
I like to think of it as a "hate-crush", i.e. I hate everything she stands for and yet I can't look away. I don't know what I'd do without her, besides feel less regularly insulted by McCain's obvious misogyny. Sometimes I learn things about her and think they must be joking, like that thing about hunting for wolves in a helicopter. I thought that was too crazy to be real until about a week ago when I heard that she also offers a bonus to hunters who can bring her the severed foreleg of a wolf.
It was then that I realized: Bitch is a fairy-tale villain! And didn't you always love the villains?
So who's the fairest in the land?
Consignment shop you say? How indie.
But this wolf thing really got me thinking. This could be trouble for about five or ten bands off the top of my head and probably about 500 more, for one simple reason: wolves are pretty rad.
Today's shortlist is brought to you by wolves everywhere.
Sea Wolf -"You're a Wolf"
Patrick Wolf-"The Libertine"
Wolf Eyes- A bunch of goddamn noise
Peter Wolf-"Lights Out"
Is it too cliche for me to close out the list with my favorite Wolf band?
damn, I love singing along to that riff, the one that goes nerrrr-ner-ner-ner-ner-ner-nerrrr-ner-ner
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
To make a long story short, I told some dude to go fuck himself because he kept getting in my acquaintance's grill about him allegedly drunkenly kissing his "broad" before they were even together. Homeboy tells one of the three dudes I'm with to "tell that bitch to shut the fuck up." I don't stand to be sassed in any way and I for some unknown reason forget that most women are okay with being clubbed over the head and dragged back to the cave. Bitch, you don't ask me what I been doin' you wait for my request to sit down. While trying to macguyver a shank out of a bandana, a lip gloss tube, and a serrated hunting knife, I began wondering where he got his huge dick and manners from and it occurred to me he probs. learned it all from a Nickelback video.
This video here is for a song called "Figured You Out:"
The first time I heard that auditory gem was in a strip club in Vegas. That says a lot. Like daddy issues. Anyways, Nickelback is everything that is wrong with America. I know they're Canucks, but still. Nickelback makes me want to cut off my own legs and run a marathon, using my own severed legs as crutches.
These guys embody the lifted truck/tribal tattoo/too much bicep lifestyle. One of my major grievances besides the obvious onslaught of suck is the dude's voice. Chad Kroger sounds like his throat is lined with battery acid filled polyps that explode every time he groans brilliant lyrics such as:
I like your pants around your feet
I like the dirt that's on your knees
I like the way you still say please
While you're looking up at me
You're like my favorite damn disease
I love the places that we go
I love the people that you know
I love the way you can't say no
Too many long nights in a row
I love the powder on your nose
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out
Now I did
You wonder why
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out
Now I did
You wonder why
I like the freckles on your chest
I love the way you like me best
I like the way your not impressed
While you put me to the test
I love the white stains on your dress
I love the way you pass the check
I love the good times that you wreck
I love your lack of self-respect
While you're passed out on the deck
I love my hands around your neck
someone please fucking kill me,
Monday, October 27, 2008
I am a big fan of "Can I lift my dress up for you?"
The answer is yes, yes of course you can.
Now if you'll excuse me I have a couple of midterms to continue to procrastinate on and writing is really too close to doing work for my comfort.
the original LOLKrug
the Megan's birthday LOLKrug extravaganza
Here's a new Sunset Rubdown song that they're calling "Dragon" or something right now.
I think I have to go throw up. uggggh.
take me to the dragon's lair
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Anyway, the past couple of days i've been busy planning my ultimate escape from San Diego. Why do people call this shit heap paradise? Yeah, walking out of work at 10am into 95 degree heat in October is super fucking awesome. I had to show a good friend of mine around the city last weekend, and I realized how boring this place really is. Don't even get me started on the sorry ass state of our music venues. This bitch originally comes from Florida, America's asshole, and even she wasn't impressed. I'm open to any moving suggestion. Right now i'm thinking of Portland, Vancouver, Oakland, Baltimore or Nashville.
Well, since i'm still fucking here, there's a few shows on my radar for the next few weeks:
Mountain Goats with Kaki King at the Belly Up on the 28th. You should probably go to this if you're 21+. If you're not, you probably listen to shitty music anyway.
Ted Leo & The Pharmacists with Titus Andronicus at the Casbah on the 30th. I've seen Ted Leo a few times, but i'm iffy on this one because his new album sucks...except for the Sons of Cain, which fucking brings it. Titus Andronicus is pretty cool, so I may go. If you dig upbeat or noisy as fuck rock check it out. That is, if you're not too busy taking it up the ass at the Thrice and Alkaline Trio show that same night. FUCK, IT'S LIKE, INDIE ROCK, WITH SICK METAL LEADS.
Later shows include Subtle at the Casbah on Nov. 30th, which everyone should go to because Subtle is ridiculous and awesome and put on a great show.
And, naturally, Wu-Tang Dec. 5th at the House of Blues.
All of these shows are 21+. So...if you're not 21, you're shit out of luck. I'm sure some super shitty bands are playing at the Epicentre that night so you and your 15 year old dick pig friends can like, swipe your dads vodka and totally lose your shit.
Bring the Motha' Fuckin' Ruckus
Friday, October 24, 2008
Check out this fucking awesome cartoon Tracie over at Jezebel made:
high tailing my way on to the commie list,
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Inspired Flight is a duo made up of some dude we don't know and this guy Gabe (known to the music world and the internet as Chavez) that Megan used to sling pizza with back in the day. He's also in Mechanical Cats, Jack the Original, Metrofique and probably 900 other bands. Cool dude.
If you're not doing anything and are into getting lost on a university campus like we are, hit that shit up.
In other news, Jawbreaker is trying again to remaster "Unfun," last weekend they got flutters in their tapes. Good job guys. Actually it's just Adam. Blake is in NYC defending his thesis. Hot. If you don't feel compelled to buy it yet, it features "the 7" mix of Busy and alter
Welp, time to go bathe this week. I have a feeling The Loft isn't like the Che and people might notice if I don't shower.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Today I'm feeling a kind of Phil Spector inspired sixties vibe, and after all, nothing is more romantic than Mr. Spector. He will kill a bitch and call it an "accidental suicide". Oh dang, good thing I'm writing this on my fainting couch.
First up, I have Grizzly Bear, live, covering "He Hit Me", originally recorded by The Crystals and produced by Phil Spector. Thanks for the video rawkblog! You can also download this song on daytrotter.
If you can think of anything more romantic than this song, congratulations, you probably know what a healthy relationship is like. In that case, I don't know what you're doing here.
Hey, remember Bat For Lashes? I still love the shit out of this song and video, "What's a Girl To Do?"
If you fuck with Natasha Khan her bicycle gang of furries will not hesitate to annihilate you. They will synchronized-jump you into the ground.
Rounding out the shortlist, the Jesus and Mary Chain video for "Just Like Honey".
I have nothing snarky to say about this. Not even about the hair. Just leave me alone.
GET OUT OF MY ROOM.
just like honey (honey's dead)
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
For me, today, it's The Ting Tings.
My hate for this sorry excuse for a band is nearly unspeakable. I hate the annoying hipster yelling that has seemingly replaced real singing these days, I hate how terrible they are live because you can't trust a bleached out horseface to trigger MIDI loops properly and goddammit I hate how(instrumentally) catchy that one song is.
Shut Up and Let Me Go:
The only thing I am into is the video being shot through the H.O.V.A. sign but the vocals really seriously grind my gears. Stop announcing your lyrics and learn to sing, bitch. Or just shut your whore mouth and go back to your salon receptionist job. That goes for that slut in Crystal Castles that looks like Puck from A Midsummer Night's Dream too.
Don't let me catch you liking shit that sucks,
Saturday, October 18, 2008
It's got a good, consistent beat. You know.
The first time I heard Autolux it was on the Sunday evening local music show on indie 103.1 and it was the UNKLE collab. "Persons and Machinery." I like Autolux a lot and seriously regret not seeing them at Sunset Junction last year, I was already there being drunkorexic and making bad decisions but the prospect of a festival full of Los Angeles' most elite hip still definitely did and still kind of makes me feel yucky in my tummy. Autolux is a trio made up of the kinda cool nerds that you ignored in high school and probably most of college, I read somewhere that they met working on the score of some play and decided to make a band.
They're also cool because they bought back the rights to their masters of "Future Perfect" from their label and are the sole owners of their material. Righteous, dudes. Autolux released the single "Audience No.2" for their upcoming album "Transit, Transit" digitally, for free on the internets and I don't want to hear any shit about "the Radiohead model" because goddammit it's not the same. Radiohead handed out a piss-poor quality version of "In Rainbows" that you could pay $5 or $5,000 for and then go stand in line at Amoeba for three hours to fork over $80 for some shitty box set that had like an extra hour of whining and like a dirty sock with a minotaur scrawled on it or some other faggy bullshit. God, it really grinds my gears when people credit Radiohead as having invented the "pay if you please" model.
Tangents of mild rage aside, Autolux is playing on halloween at some...thing. There's an open bar. I might bail on everyone and go. I bet there's gonna be foxy dudes there. More info on their 'space.
I've got to go slip into something a little more ironic.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Actually, my doctor said I need to stop drinking coffee AND eating soy and try not to drink very much because apparently that has something to do with the fucking lumps in my breasts but I was like damn it woman, that's like asking me to give up gasoline and make my car run on hope. If I don't have my five soy and whiskey lattes every morning, I just don't know how I'm going to function.
Happily, as long as I have my hearing I shall have the consolation of music.
I have recently discovered the world of Argentinian songstress and adorable woodland creature Juana Molina, who just released a new album called Un Dia.
It's a hypnotic and disorienting world, not least because I suck at speaking Spanish (restaurant Spanish: flirt with the bussers, fight with the cooks and eavesdrop on your tables) and struggle to pick out words as I can. And words are like the anchor that blah blah I'm an English major blah blah the map you use to navigate a surreal and shifting soundscape blah blah enhance the texture of the world.
I think this 2006 profile from Domino Records is helpful in getting a sense of where her music comes from, especially the story about singing in her grandmother's elevator.
Gotta go see if that hot guy's at the coffee shop again, the one that makes me wish I carried around a phonograph so I could throw on a Beirut record and demand that he waltz with me.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Monday, we didn't exactly get too dirty. It was kind of a giant brodeo. Lots of backwards baseball caps and conductor hats. It was like BROstoyevsky invited his army of BROmo sapiens. Jenni and I ended up sitting on her floor for a while (waiting for a gentleman caller) with her cat, armed with a fluffy thing with a bell on a string, the entire Pavement discography and sangria and stone pale ale (respectively, not mixed). Somewhere after admitting I have a horrifying inner monologue, especially during inopportune moments (I'm listening to Carrot Rope right now dude, internet knucks!) , we discovered myspace karaoke. This shit is quite alarming, yet I'm sure Megan and I will get drunk and do Mariah Carey at some point. On Monday, however, it seemed like a good idea to yell Celiene Dion in the wee hours of the morning and that's when we found it. Superfreak. After giggling for a minute, Jenni said "Hey you know what song sounds kind of like Superfreak? It's A Curse."
Dudes, it's true.
Who would have guessed Spencer Krug wold try to put himself in the running to be the next king of punk-funk? Not I.
Another one she pointed out was Beck's "Scarecrow" to "Like a Virgin." I agree, but also think it's a little like Depeche Mode's "Policy of Truth."
Some kids and their damn Beck fan videos:
Like a Virgin:
Dave Gahan is a hot old man and I'd totally still hit it from the back:
I'm not calling a Vanilla Ice or anything here, it's merely amusing that we can make genre-crossing connections. With that said, I'm inventing a Pony Girl Club drinking game (I'll probably be drinking while I play it anyways, might as well make it a drinking game) that is similar to the six levels of Kevin Bacon game. How do you go from Spencer Krug to us in three moves? Bid on us for the dirty pillow cancer auction and you'll find out!
I have to go wash the dye out of my hair now, I look like Erykah Badu but white and with saran wrap.
Oh yeah, if you're not doing anything tonight, come down to the 710 Beach club (I swear it's not a South Beach gay bar like The Birdcage) to see the Oddfellows and Gurtrudestein. I will not, contrary to popular belief, behave like a reprehensible jezebel this time.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Next up was Flight or Fight (their name always makes my brain feel like it's having a user error because it wants to think it's Fight or Flight but maybe that's the point. Stop mindfucking me you guys, ask first!) and Mattcarr said they kind of reminded him of early No Doubt. Quick unrelated rhetorical question- what's worse than Christian ska? Nothing. Ska is the most annoying thing in the world (even more annoying than steel drums, Dr. Bubastis) and then add Christianity to it? Oh man. Moving on...
Second to last were the Unruly Bangs. They're a little more sinister version of a lot of the bands from 2000ish that I wonder what happened to. The slightly mod rock bands, like Vue. But with a chick singer, and more impressively a singing chick drummer. They were fun and it definitely didn't hurt that one of the dudes has a slight case of the Jemaine (Flight of the Conchords).
There was a moment of panic before Gurtrudestein played in which I realized I forgot to go to Gaytar Center to get those fancy-ass "I can still hear you talk but I'm not gonna be deaf as shit by the time I'm 35" ear plugs, but having one less drummer changed everything. I've become slightly notorious for bitching about shit being loud and have upon occasion been internet fodder because of it, so I said something dumb like "so are you ready to get pretty seriously aurally raped?" to Ryan without thinking about that thing where "aurally" sounds like "orally." Yikes. But in all seriousness, they fucking destroyed. They played in the dark, barely lit by the flicker of the projected film clips that consume the back wall of the stage, made a lot of noise and a Sarah Palin joke. What else could anyone ask for? In zealous noise-rock, there is a fine line between being noisy and being dissonant. I'm the resident black metal elitist, I know a lot about dissonance, trust me. This time around, their set felt more cohesive and was enjoyable. One thing that really stands out about Gurtrudestein is their energy. They're not playing for the Matlock crowd and it's hard to want to sit down. Amy has a powerful voice, but doesn't rely on that alone. They all get so into IT, that it starts to feel like an unharnessable force. I guess what I'm getting at is seeing Gurtrudestein is like watching the Large Hadron Collider actually work.
They're playing again Wednesday, with The Oddfellows at 710 Beach Club in Pacific Beach. Check it out. I'll be there, trying as hard as I possibly can to not look like I fit in anywhere in PB.
As for tonight, the Saloon in Encinitas will be as dirty as always, as will I and my usual crowd of misfits (and maybe more!). Gabe Vega is spinning, Mac is filming, some other guy is taking pictures, and some other people are doing other stuff too. $3 well you-call-its from 8-10 p.m. (Jenni and I have to eat dinner and watch Gossip Girl so I'm def. not going to be there before 9:30)
I have to go shuffle around my house and listen to "Dear You" while I get ready for work now.
p.s. If you're gonna play spin the bottle with Gurtrudestein, prepare to lose so hard it's not even funny.